If I could start all over, I would BRIGHTly shine my light! I have spent most of my life dimming my light so as to not make others uncomfortable. When I am being my most authentic self, people can disappear, become snarky or competitive, act mean, even say "YOU are a lot". I have played small to fit in a box of 'normalcy'. People don't believe I can be this JOYful, this optimistic, this caring, this loving, this benevolent. Their suspicions and judgements make me check myself constantly hiding the real me.
My daughter, Lexie, inspires me. From the second she was conceived, she has pushed me to be more of who I am meant to be! This beautiful child of mine is about to become a mother herself and witnessing this miracle pushes me to become even more!! Lexie has has lived with Chronic Neurological Lyme Disease, and all that it has done to her body, for more than twenty years, now. Even when days were darkest, she always embodied a "why not me?" attitude. What was the gift? How could she use her empathy to feel on an even deeper level? Who was she to become as a result? How would she share her lessons? How would this drive her to push through physical and emotional roadblocks? What was the measure of her success when she accomplished crazy physical feats and met amazing academic and career goals? That Lexie admires me and values my guidance, solidly grounds me inspiring me every single second I remember I was chosen to be her mother.
One of my favorite quotes {though I have so many}...
Midlife; when the Universe grabs your shoulders and tells you, "I'm not f-ing around, use the gifts you were given!"
{Brene Brown}
I LOVE this quote and use as a one of my daily questions...
Why NOT 'use the gifts you were given'?
Heather! The Universe is not f-ing around!!
Life is short.
I am proud that I am...
1. Deeply Empathic {although it often hurts my heart}
2. Extremely Loyal {to a fault}
3. Flat Out Resilient {optimism, faith, and favor has helped me to overcome so much allowing me to create a life even more beautiful than I even imagined}
What keeps me up at night is an underlying anxiety... Will I leave this lifetime having used ALL of the gifts I was given exquisitely fulfilling my purpose? I have this smoldering deep inside my belly knowing that with just a poof of oxygen, it will be set ablaze. That fire scares me and holds me back, but I know I will have to feel it and live it in order to assuage that anxiety and answer YES to the question that haunts me.
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